Keep It Kind Online

June 6, 2017
Keep It Kind Online | What Hazel Said

Retrospectively, I can’t say with any conviction that I was a nice girl at school. I read somewhere that teenagers don’t have the empathy chip in their brain. The small part that makes us stop and think ‘how would I feel if that was me?’

High school is survival of the fittest, which kind of explains why I didn’t stick up for whoever was on the outer at lunch time, but it doesn’t explain why I was so mean to my poor mum!

Tomorrow is Keep It Kind Online Day. An initiative started to try and encourage people to consider their actions and act with kindness when interacting with others from the other side of a screen.

Last year I posted a blog. I knew the meaning of the blog and the sentiment behind the blog – I was the author.

The blog was read by a “friend”. A “friend” who had come to me for relationship advice, career advice and business advice. A “friend” who I had checked in with regularly about her depression.

The “friend” got in touch and said that she was offended by my blog. I told her that the blog wasn’t meant to be offensive. That her being offended by my blog, was like me being offended with her constant digs about women who wear activewear – activewear is my go to.

This “friend” shared the blog in a group (that until then she had denied she was part of), and said that this blog was “anti-mum”. I’m guessing that the women in the group didn’t connect the dots, and realise that the author of the blog was a long time customer of several of them.

The fallout from the blog was almost nucleic. One by one they attacked the post on Facebook, posting hurtful comment after hurtful comment, and then taking it in turns to “like” the comments left by others.

Those comments have since been deleted (not by me), as has the post in the group where the personal attacks were horrific and witnessed by two of my cousins.

When I confronted the “friend” who had started the furore, she denied her comments until she was presented with screenshots…

So, what happened next, was that my cousin was evicted from the group, and the “friend” and her “friends” took to social media posting comments like “be kind, always” and “in a world where you can be anything – be kind”.

“In a world where you can be anything, be hypocritical, be nasty, be judgemental, be mean and then lie about it” – doesn’t really have the same ring, does it?

There’s a person behind the profile, and at the time I was unemployed (after experiencing workplace bullying), living with my parents, my engagement was on the rocks. I was being (very) badly bullied by some of the people in my life, and then I was bullied online too.

I have always been honest about my struggles with depression (you can read about my experience here) and anxiety, and yet people still find it acceptable to post horrific shit about me online.  Think before you post – who will this help? Who will this harm?

Your challenge for Keep It Kind Online Day, is to not only post respectful, kind comments on social media, and the internet, but to make a point of suggesting others #keepitkindonline also.

Hazel Signature

You may also like

18 comments

Ashleigh Burgess
Ashleigh Burgess June 6, 2017 at 8:08 pm

Apart of me still holds onto how shit the girls I went to school with were to me, and even when i see them in the street they still are. It takes a huge amount of inner strength to not wanna hit them with whatever I’m holding but keeping it kind means I’m the better person and there’s almost a bit of relief that comes over me knowing that.

P.S you’re a good bitch x

Reply
What Hazel Said
What Hazel Said June 6, 2017 at 8:12 pm

Even though I wasn’t always nice at high school, I was bullied relentlessly by a group of girls…and when they left school there were more to take their place. It was never-ending.

I see them in the supermarket sometimes, and holy shit I struggle not to remind them of the shit they put me through.

Reply
Ashleigh Burgess
Ashleigh Burgess June 6, 2017 at 8:14 pm

Mine seemed to follow me right from primary to high school. Thankfully, I had a couple of decent friends or I would’ve gone mad

Reply
Aimee June 6, 2017 at 8:12 pm

Well said babe !!!! You got this and not many people have a heart as big as yours for some reason their will always be humans hurting and projecting their life issues onto you or someone else’s feed !!! Don’t let it control your awsome self you’ve come so far

Reply
What Hazel Said
What Hazel Said June 6, 2017 at 8:13 pm

So important. So thankful I’ve got so many GB’s in my life. Online validation not required x

Reply
Romy Burgess
Romy Burgess June 6, 2017 at 8:13 pm

Love this babes <3 <3 <3 great chats this morning too xxx

Reply
What Hazel Said
What Hazel Said June 6, 2017 at 8:15 pm

So grateful for your love and light ❤

Reply
Romy Burgess
Romy Burgess June 6, 2017 at 8:15 pm

Seriously, A N Y T I M E <3

Reply
Nadia Gillbanks
Nadia Gillbanks June 6, 2017 at 8:50 pm

Shit yes…..It bugs me no end when I see people do the “be kind” posts when I know they don’t its like doing the “shop local” but also saying you can buy this on ali express!!

Reply
What Hazel Said
What Hazel Said June 7, 2017 at 12:50 pm

So. Much. Yes.

Reply
Malerie Hartley
Malerie Hartley June 6, 2017 at 9:23 pm

I am shocked DAILY by what some people post online in comments etc. I cannot fathom why GROWN ADULTS think it is ok to tear people down online. I just shake my head and wonder if they’ll ever grow up xx

Reply
What Hazel Said
What Hazel Said June 7, 2017 at 12:49 pm

It is mind blowing. Truly. The real world is overrated!

Reply
Paula Clemoes-Graham
Paula Clemoes-Graham June 6, 2017 at 9:29 pm

Great blog, I can’t get over some comments online to various people – rather shocking.

Reply
What Hazel Said
What Hazel Said June 7, 2017 at 11:06 am

And the stuff they post with an open profile including their place of work…

Reply
Paula Clemoes-Graham
Paula Clemoes-Graham June 7, 2017 at 12:46 pm

What Hazel Said 100%, I just don’t understand why people have to say/write their negative thoughts – sure ok think it but maybe keep it private

Reply
What Hazel Said
What Hazel Said June 7, 2017 at 11:05 am

Reply
What Hazel Said
What Hazel Said June 7, 2017 at 12:48 pm

I ran into some of the women in that post at a market in Auckland on my birthday. They chose to stand in a group and whisper and point.

If my life hadn’t been in ruins, I might have had the strength to go up and introduce myself!

Reply
Rachel June 8, 2017 at 11:46 pm

Mum always taught; if you dont have anything nice to say then say nothing at all 🙂

I had a similar experience once where I woke in the middle of the night to people commenting from the other side of the world (daytime for them) and oh my goodness. It destroyed me for a long time. And I still shudder at the thought of it. Comments and messages can pile in SO quickly its scary. Faster than a group of Bs could ever say it to your face. Yuck. Bullying is just yuck.

Reply

Leave a Comment