The Lady With Magic Hands

June 15, 2016

I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m not a huge fan of a relaxation massage.  I love me a bit of Soul Therapy, and dig me some Floatation Therapy, can’t get enough action when it comes to facials, but I don’t really enjoy the wishy washy-ness of a relaxation massage.

My friend Alesha from Vital Balance gave me a call and asked if I would do her a favour, could I please be a test case for a Balanced Energy treatment with the new therapist.  I begrudgingly agreed to a free massage (*sarcasm*), because my energies weren’t great, and a Balanced Energy treatment combines massage with holistic healing techniques to alleviate stress and provide a foundation for rebalancing yourself.

I met with Tia-Anna and she was pretty nervous.  I picked my element, and as she was talking me through it I said, “rage.  I’ve got the rage.  All the rage.  So much rage.”  I may or may not have dropped the eff bomb, but my mum said I have to stop swearing in my blogs.  Tia-Anna visibly relaxed after I told her how fucking angry I was, and I knew that her and I were going to get along just fine.

The thing with a relaxation massage is the hushed voices, which I am not good at, which is why if I ever birth offspring they will need to wear those super cute baby ear muffs that kids wear to motor sport events.  I’m not a huge fan of the long, sweeping, soft motions, I like a massage to take my breath away, usually when the therapist gets their elbow into a point and escalates the pain to about a 9, and then backs off to a 4.

So when Tia-Anna asked if the pressure was OK, I said “I actually prefer it quite hard, would that be OK?” because I’ve heard that it’s offensive if you ask for extra pressure during a relaxation massage.  So she applied a little bit more pressure, which was still nowhere near enough, and so I took my chances and asked, “can you feel that tension all through there?  Knock yourself out babes!”.

Tia-Anna could hardly contain her excitement and was like, “are you sure?” and I was like, “please, it would be amazing”.  We agreed that her feeling that much mess in someone’s back and not being able to apply the appropriate pressure to start fixing it, was like me looking at a large blackhead and not being able to squeeze it.

Tia-Anna was studying to be an Osteopath, but decided that her study/life balance was tipped in an unfavourable way so she made the call to move to Hamilton and work for Alesha at Vital Balance – gosh am I glad she did.  It takes huge guts to decide to “give up” on something that you’ve worked your ass off at, and risk disappointing everyone that has an opinion on what you should and shouldn’t be doing with your life.

Anyway, I digress, turns out I’d popped a coupla ribs.  Sounds pretty serious, but Tia-Anna gently manouvred them back into place and I was good to go.  I admit that after my treatment I had less rage, still some rage, but less rage.  I was also excited, because I’ve been looking for someone who enjoys applying a bit of pressure during a relaxation massage, the right combination of essential oils and elbow grease.

I was asked the other week if I knew of a good sports massage therapist in Hamilton, and although that’s not technically her title, if you’re looking for someone with magic hands who doesn’t mind a bit of honest chat during a treatment, make sure you jump on-the-line, dial up Vital Balance,  and book a massage with Tia-Anna.  Tell her I sent you, she thinks I’m fucking neat.

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